It pains me......

This is some sort of a political blog. Call me BJP chamcha, call me Cong basher, call me whatsoever you like. but the truth is the people of karnataka are put to shame. I just cannot hold my head high in my own state (isn't it obvious, for there are a more shivajis and rajajis than Yeddis??) I'll tell you why, in the not so distant past, I used to ridicule Laloooji (with many more o's in between) in all my conversations with Mishraji. I used to tease Kalyani with taunts against M'rastra Ekikarana Samithi (which incidentally has a Kannada spelling for the middle word) I was the one who mocked at Kalaignar for his immature statements over Engineering degrees (more so for the irrelevance of Engg degrees)

Ladies and Gentlemen, it was I who rolled with laughter when Hari told me of Andhra politicos' street fight. I, mocked at Mul'yam Singh (he always reminds me of a delicacy my granny prepares - shankarpoLi) and the infamous UP mein dum hain campaign. Now, the roles are reversed.

As in the Guru movie dialogue

Lekin aaj...........saara Hindustan.....mujhpe jhor jhor se haans rahi hai

Why? Oh you want reasons for it too?? This father and son who claim to be sons of the soil (is there soil left in Govt Ambassadors and Posh Bungalows??) have put me in this situation. Now every goddamn politician even on Rajya Sabha ticket from Bihar says Karnataka stands for Kar-nataka. To add injury to insult (dont know where I got this phrase from) they talk of ethics and understanding. Coooooool, isnt it??

When will these guys learn, the Cong created a big drama by luring away DG, our High command Madam hasn't even met him since the last Indigoish Green moon, whenever it was. And worse, we have an indirect rule in the name of Madame Prez (haven't we all read the Prez is a Nominal Executive?) Wherever I go, I hear people laughing, laughing at antics of our politicians, laughing at me, I'm getting paranoid. I'll stop this here otherwise I just might manage getting struck off from electoral rolls for mental instability.

But this one takes the cake, a reader had written to Deccan Herald

JDS must be renamed as DG(S), no prizes for guessing - Deve Gowda (Sons)

On a Serious Note

After all this light hearted contents, just thought could do with some serious stuff. Well, the credit for this (or discredit) must go to Venkat for I have been accused of making this blog a light hearted satire on daily life (whatever that means!) So, concentrate dear reader and just give me a smile now. Probably, after reading this you might want to reconsider your attitude towards me.

But before that, let me tell you all that I tell is true. I've made up my mind - I either tell truth (or i dont tell anything at all). I hate those DAMN LIES. Makes your life miserable. The old verses, I follow to the core

Satyam Bruyath, Priyam Bruyath
Na Bruyath Satyam Apriyam
Priyamcha na Anrutham Bruyath
Aesha Dharma Sanathana

OK, so what do you do when you first meet a person? Now dont tell me some psychology researchers in some blastid university came out with some study that says all Love happens in the first 30 seconds (when last heard! No guarantee it hasnt seen the downward trend). Im talking of situations where no romantic interests are involved. What do you do?? Well with me, I just categorize them. I see different categories

1. Men of integrity (One can just hear their stature in their voice)

2. Men with no integrity (Mr. Undependables and of course Miss. Undependable lest I be accused of being a Sexist Pig)

3. People with #%$#@&#(*^*(^*&(%$$@#%$&^*%*&

4. People having %^$*&$*^*()&(*$%$@&*(()&(&((&^%$#@#

5. Miscellaneous category - You just spend your whole life categorizing them

The third and fourth categories are proof to my fact that I follow Na Bruyath Satyam Apriyam ( Apriyavaada Satyavannu HeLabeda) and many thanks to Mr.Mogun for teaching me this wonderful language of &^$#$#^%#$. So the next time you meet someone, just categorize him rightly so that you dont end up putting him in the fifth category.

I Learnt My Lessons....

I am just beginning to love writing. But yes, all this has to to do with the innumerable formal letters written to innumerable people over the course of the past 2 months. I just cant stop thinking formal English. Like if I want to ask a friend to pass a book, I start off in my head as

"I humbly request you to please pass the book over. I would be very glad if you could do so at the earliest. Thanking you in advance."

Anyway, that was just to justify my blogging at a time when Im supposed to be working on something more important.

Lesson 1
One sincere advice to VTU students applying for transcripts - apply early, and I mean EARLY. The university or its staff have a particular penchant for philately and so ask you to send a self addressed envelope with postage for an unknown amount. [this is just to get stamps of different denominations I suspect]

And what do they do??? Remove the stamps and cleverly send the transcripts through courier.
Well done, all this takes some 25 days. Now comes the nightmare I experienced, it so happens that by divine grace or disgrace I happen to stay in a locality that has got all its numbers wrong, including door numbers, and it so happens that the delivery boy is a new guy who has reported to work just 2 days back. A perfect foil for a happy ending!

Lesson 2
The staff of VTU is as far from courtesy as Rowan Atkinson is from Deve Gowda. A call to VTU

namskare sahebra....
hello VTU, Belgaum
Transcriptsge apply maad......
Endu
25 dina aaithu nodri....
5 daysnalli baraththe idri phonu....tap!

Call them again.......

Hello...
VTU Belgaum,
Courier docket number aadru heLri sira...
Nodri, namageega eshtu kelasa andre. nimma punya phone attend maadidini...
Swalpa patience irliiri.....yaava courier antha aadru heLo thamma...
Professional.............

After numerous calls to Belgaum courier office, the docket no is traced out but unfortunately, it has been returned back to Belgaum. The van has left Bangalore carrying it and hasnt reached Belgaum. Well, call them again...

Hello....Mala madam??
Houdri, enagbeku???
Adu docket no...... load bantha.
Aa mailnalli swalpa nodri....ivru bengloorinda phone hachchaara...
Ilri, adu Thilakwadige hogide.....
Whaa??? Thilakwadi??

Hmm. After 48 hours of agony and a few calls to the higher echelons of Professional, thanks to my dad, I finally received the package this morning from Thilakwadi o belgaum to Mission Road to Geddalahalli to Lottegollahalli.

Im happy now that all tension is gone..

Lesson 3
Never read such blogs if it doesnt concern you. It just wastes your time and nothing else :)

Happy Diwali