Prof. Rao, Bangalore IT and the controversies......

Recently, I was made to go through some supererogatory drama created by Churmuri, where as a counter action to Prof. C N R Rao's outburst against the IT sector, a so called saviour of IT sector counters each point of his in a true Gossip mag style. Trust me, I ain't a socialist, I love Money. God! who doesn't want 'MONEY', what a wonderful word! But I also value my emotions, a lot more than you think I do. I was then a passive observer, impartial, thinking both sides are to blame and more blah blahs. But then today, after attending a lecture by Prof. Rao, I couldn't help but admire the charisma of the man. So now, I take sides. Never mind if I understood less than 20% of it or was vaguely remembered of the few compounds I learnt in those long inorganic classes at SKA.

Look, here was a man who had in himself the uninhibited childlike enthusiasm of Kalam and the immense love and dedication for his work. He was almost jumping on the stage with enthusiasm. Not to forget his wit

Publishing papers is a harmless racket, it doesn't kill like the virus in Bengal.

When I was in Belgrade airport, a man walks up to me and asks, there was a paper somewhere in 60s by a Rao, is it your father?- although he didn't ask, he must have assumed that Rao is dead already.

There was student of mine who was worse, but later he became terrible.

Getting back, why did CNR in the first place lash out against IT? Well, he didn't want people to work like machines. Yes, IT work is mood off work, you agree it or not. This is good enough for any guy[or gal as the case may be] to loathe it. Never mind, I myself might end up in one such job sometime down the lane. I might still vouch for the authenticity of this piece, even then. But as for now, CNR earned one more fan and probably many many more. After all, all the hype of him being the most revered scientist in India isn't bogus at all!

By the way, all Prtyaksha volunteers, don't punch me in the face next time you meet me. I actually found time to write this piece!

Adsense, No sense or Nonsense???

Well Google's Adsense is indeed wonderful, it has bred a class of bloggers who are hell bent upon making fast bucks, the Google way. Hence, I see my friends coming up with 'controversial' blogs, so to say. A friend suggested this to me, put up something 'controversial' in your blog, you can make a hell lot of money. Controversial eh?? These are the most controversial things I can stumble upon (and I'm sure these don't merit ad clicks or even ads)

• Man jumps from 20 storeyed building, unhurt ( How the heck do you know he was jumping in his bathroom??)
• The English Professor scored 800 in Quants and 210 in Verbal when he made an extra bold attempt to write GRE
• Richard Feynman's application rejected by ASU, Fulton on grounds of lack of independent thoughts.

But, I still cant figure out which 'SANE' person in his right mind, especially an Indian would click on ads supplied by Google?? I don't, you don't and I know many others who don't. My friend says he made 8 cents with 10 clicks and Google would pay you after you earn100$ through a check. Now my calculation tells me, it would require 12500 hits to make that amount. In the scenario where not even 250 guys ( a substantial amount- my own views) have read my blog since its existence, I might as well keep it as my retirement fund, where I'm presented with this cheque of 100$ on my last working day, 40 years hence.

But this gaawy [pronounced gaaaaaaawiy, with Atkinson's emotions of surprise and awe] hinted on their 'modus operandi' to make money, skim through articles, if you like one of them, click on an Ad to show your appreciation. Now isn't that wonderful! But there is a drawback to this, the world is full of sadists like me who'll never ever (trust me NEVER EVER) click on an ad!

Anyway, all ye bloggers, Happy Earning, I have visions of you all stashing dollars in your cupboards!

It pains me......

This is some sort of a political blog. Call me BJP chamcha, call me Cong basher, call me whatsoever you like. but the truth is the people of karnataka are put to shame. I just cannot hold my head high in my own state (isn't it obvious, for there are a more shivajis and rajajis than Yeddis??) I'll tell you why, in the not so distant past, I used to ridicule Laloooji (with many more o's in between) in all my conversations with Mishraji. I used to tease Kalyani with taunts against M'rastra Ekikarana Samithi (which incidentally has a Kannada spelling for the middle word) I was the one who mocked at Kalaignar for his immature statements over Engineering degrees (more so for the irrelevance of Engg degrees)

Ladies and Gentlemen, it was I who rolled with laughter when Hari told me of Andhra politicos' street fight. I, mocked at Mul'yam Singh (he always reminds me of a delicacy my granny prepares - shankarpoLi) and the infamous UP mein dum hain campaign. Now, the roles are reversed.

As in the Guru movie dialogue

Lekin aaj...........saara Hindustan.....mujhpe jhor jhor se haans rahi hai

Why? Oh you want reasons for it too?? This father and son who claim to be sons of the soil (is there soil left in Govt Ambassadors and Posh Bungalows??) have put me in this situation. Now every goddamn politician even on Rajya Sabha ticket from Bihar says Karnataka stands for Kar-nataka. To add injury to insult (dont know where I got this phrase from) they talk of ethics and understanding. Coooooool, isnt it??

When will these guys learn, the Cong created a big drama by luring away DG, our High command Madam hasn't even met him since the last Indigoish Green moon, whenever it was. And worse, we have an indirect rule in the name of Madame Prez (haven't we all read the Prez is a Nominal Executive?) Wherever I go, I hear people laughing, laughing at antics of our politicians, laughing at me, I'm getting paranoid. I'll stop this here otherwise I just might manage getting struck off from electoral rolls for mental instability.

But this one takes the cake, a reader had written to Deccan Herald

JDS must be renamed as DG(S), no prizes for guessing - Deve Gowda (Sons)

On a Serious Note

After all this light hearted contents, just thought could do with some serious stuff. Well, the credit for this (or discredit) must go to Venkat for I have been accused of making this blog a light hearted satire on daily life (whatever that means!) So, concentrate dear reader and just give me a smile now. Probably, after reading this you might want to reconsider your attitude towards me.

But before that, let me tell you all that I tell is true. I've made up my mind - I either tell truth (or i dont tell anything at all). I hate those DAMN LIES. Makes your life miserable. The old verses, I follow to the core

Satyam Bruyath, Priyam Bruyath
Na Bruyath Satyam Apriyam
Priyamcha na Anrutham Bruyath
Aesha Dharma Sanathana

OK, so what do you do when you first meet a person? Now dont tell me some psychology researchers in some blastid university came out with some study that says all Love happens in the first 30 seconds (when last heard! No guarantee it hasnt seen the downward trend). Im talking of situations where no romantic interests are involved. What do you do?? Well with me, I just categorize them. I see different categories

1. Men of integrity (One can just hear their stature in their voice)

2. Men with no integrity (Mr. Undependables and of course Miss. Undependable lest I be accused of being a Sexist Pig)

3. People with #%$#@&#(*^*(^*&(%$$@#%$&^*%*&

4. People having %^$*&$*^*()&(*$%$@&*(()&(&((&^%$#@#

5. Miscellaneous category - You just spend your whole life categorizing them

The third and fourth categories are proof to my fact that I follow Na Bruyath Satyam Apriyam ( Apriyavaada Satyavannu HeLabeda) and many thanks to Mr.Mogun for teaching me this wonderful language of &^$#$#^%#$. So the next time you meet someone, just categorize him rightly so that you dont end up putting him in the fifth category.

I Learnt My Lessons....

I am just beginning to love writing. But yes, all this has to to do with the innumerable formal letters written to innumerable people over the course of the past 2 months. I just cant stop thinking formal English. Like if I want to ask a friend to pass a book, I start off in my head as

"I humbly request you to please pass the book over. I would be very glad if you could do so at the earliest. Thanking you in advance."

Anyway, that was just to justify my blogging at a time when Im supposed to be working on something more important.

Lesson 1
One sincere advice to VTU students applying for transcripts - apply early, and I mean EARLY. The university or its staff have a particular penchant for philately and so ask you to send a self addressed envelope with postage for an unknown amount. [this is just to get stamps of different denominations I suspect]

And what do they do??? Remove the stamps and cleverly send the transcripts through courier.
Well done, all this takes some 25 days. Now comes the nightmare I experienced, it so happens that by divine grace or disgrace I happen to stay in a locality that has got all its numbers wrong, including door numbers, and it so happens that the delivery boy is a new guy who has reported to work just 2 days back. A perfect foil for a happy ending!

Lesson 2
The staff of VTU is as far from courtesy as Rowan Atkinson is from Deve Gowda. A call to VTU

namskare sahebra....
hello VTU, Belgaum
Transcriptsge apply maad......
Endu
25 dina aaithu nodri....
5 daysnalli baraththe idri phonu....tap!

Call them again.......

Hello...
VTU Belgaum,
Courier docket number aadru heLri sira...
Nodri, namageega eshtu kelasa andre. nimma punya phone attend maadidini...
Swalpa patience irliiri.....yaava courier antha aadru heLo thamma...
Professional.............

After numerous calls to Belgaum courier office, the docket no is traced out but unfortunately, it has been returned back to Belgaum. The van has left Bangalore carrying it and hasnt reached Belgaum. Well, call them again...

Hello....Mala madam??
Houdri, enagbeku???
Adu docket no...... load bantha.
Aa mailnalli swalpa nodri....ivru bengloorinda phone hachchaara...
Ilri, adu Thilakwadige hogide.....
Whaa??? Thilakwadi??

Hmm. After 48 hours of agony and a few calls to the higher echelons of Professional, thanks to my dad, I finally received the package this morning from Thilakwadi o belgaum to Mission Road to Geddalahalli to Lottegollahalli.

Im happy now that all tension is gone..

Lesson 3
Never read such blogs if it doesnt concern you. It just wastes your time and nothing else :)

Happy Diwali

Godfather!

Michael Corleone: Only Don’t tell me you are innocent.[pause] It insults my intelligence.[pause] It makes me very angry.

Karthik Venkatesh: Only Don’t tell me to write a SOP.[pause] It insults my intelligence.[pause] It makes me very angry.

Last, Laster, Lastest..........

This is the LAST time I will ever forget to use RET at the end of a subroutine. After hearing to Mani’s sardonic neigh after seeing the program, that will always ring in my ears whenever I write a subroutine.

This is the LASTER time I will ever go around announcing on the public address system about the two lost ‘strippers’ of the five strippers that were with us when all I meant was this.

This is the LASTEST time, I will ever witness a truly democratic election in my life. Oh! It is worth describing democracy…….

2:45:14 PM Our 'beloved' HOD enters the Electronics Lab and says Excuse ME to a student seriously working on a system.

2:45:15 PM The student startled turns around [action not required for the completion of the scene]

2:45:17 PM Two swift hand motions from the choreography trained HOD. The first one to indicate all students to get off their seats and the second one to beckon them to come closer [action takes approx 380 msec]

2:45:18 PM Students begin to notice the big smile on the Don’s face and cant resist a laugh.[ Action censored by the censor board]

2:45:19 PM The Don begins his speech – “Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Keyboards and Monitors. Today, I want YOU ALL to elect two people to represent your class. Since our college is ISO certified, we have system of 50% reservation for the fairer sex. So I want YOU to elect one boy and one girl”

2:45:23 PM Turns towards a guy standing nearby and asks him “Will you become?” [Heaven knows what!] “OK then, who else”.

2:45:25 PM This ‘gem’ of a lecturer passing by jumps in “Ivaranna thogoLi saar…” “Yaaru?” “Ivare, Ivare”

2:45:28 PM “OK then thank you all of you”

2:45:30 PM A harsh squeaking of the Lab door is heard and Keyboards and Monitors return back to their work.

A 17 second Election. Hail Democracy!

PS: Not meant to hurt anyone. If hurt – what can I do???

PS: The title is an intended error and doesn’t denote my ignorance of Uncle Sam’s tongue.