Title: Indian Political League
Also Known as: The Great Indian Coalition Saga (Working title, India)
Director: Multiple
Genre: Drama, Action, Politics, Comedy, Fiction
Tagline: 150 is the new 272
CBFC Rating: [A] ,for scenes containing graphic violence, caste, slander and liquor.
Runtime: Eternity
Company: Twentyfirst Century - Trapeze Artists Association
A friend recently put up a status messge declaring "I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question." Although the chicken has been question for eons, it hasn't ceased to make news time and again amazing me with its sustained interest in crossing roads - one wider than the other. So, I set out asking this question to all our future prime ministers (alright! some may realise this posthumously) - A few in candid interviews on record, a few off record in closed rooms and AC cars. Of course, these are not without my personal political leanings as is explicitly evident.
(Content Advisory: The main protagonist of this piece is the chicken. The chicken is an extremely versatile actor donning different roles in different scenes as the story progresses. So if you are averse to chickens or their very intentions of making news, this isn't for you. Additionally, if you are miles away from the happening political scene in India and its associated concern and responsibilities, this might well not be your plate of chicken)
Behen Maya
During Election time: It was carrying a message of equality from the Dalits to the Brahmins!
All other times: It was carrying some donation for my birthday fund.
Kagodu Thimmappa: Oh was it?? Yaava chicken road cross maadtheeni antha heLaththo, antha chickenna thale kattarisi haakbeku. Adu cross maadodanthe.... naavu nododanthe... hmm
Sycophant R V Deshpande: It's a historic event. It was proclaiming to the world that Rahul visited the state during election campaign. This will be written in golden letters.
ChaluvaLi king Vatal: The EC has no better work than watch chickens ... in other areas, there are elephants crossing the road. Jai Karnataka .... (with violent waving of the hands)
Tamil hero MK: The chicken is my friend. And Im not a terrorist. The chicken is a noble chicken, it must be treated like a king.
Father Gowda: We support all secular chickens. Obviously it was trying a lot to escape from the communal forces. Its a 'tall' chicken now. Only the mangalya bala of the chicken's wife saved it from being run over by a tractor. Get me 10 chickens, I'll show how much control I have over all chickens in the country.
Party Hopper Bangarappa: BJP did not have any chickens once upon a time. Now since the CM's son is contesting, they are forcibly paying the chickens to cross the road.
Beta Dutt: The chicken's father died because of pressure from Congress in the previous century. So it is revolting now. The chicken was also actually tortured eons ago. If I see the chicken anywhere, I'll definitely give it a jaadu ki jhappi and pappi. All credit goes to my brother Amarji.
Chief Mischief Maker Chawla: Just a minute, I want to use the restroom ... (makes a call to 10, Janpath) I think it crossed because Gopalswami ordered it. The other ECs have no role in it.
HDK: Father will decide. Father will decide whether the chicken can cross or not. It also depends whether the chicken is a rural chicken or an urban chicken. But father will decide. Father will decide. Even common man is discussing about this chicken. Father will decide....
The not so High Command: The chicken is does not belong to any party. Its a national chicken. Insult to the national chicken is an insult to the country.
The all knowing Vadra: The chicken definitely has the qualities to cross the road. The chicken is a good blend of of its father and grandmother. Who me?? No, I'll never cross the road. But I know all about road crossing and chickens and I can comment on and on about it at any rally.
Baba Rahul: Empower all chickens to cross the road, we can eliminate butcherism (read terrorism) in 15 minutes. (Personal note: 15 minutes, bah! what 50 years of family rule didnt accomplish)
'Secular' newbie Kalyan: My aim is BJP ka barbaadhi, the chicken's aim is BJP ka barbaadhi, we are friends now. Even I know how to cross the road.
Kingmaker Amar: I dont want to reveal who said this to me. I want to do business with them later. But I know the chicken's name is Maya. See what havoc Mayas are causing in this country. One Maya is spoiling UP, another Maya is crossing the roads everywhere.
Roller Driver Lalloo: Are chodiye, na chicken hamare party mein hain, na hum chicken ke party mein. Phir bhi, agar mein Home Minister hota tho usi waqt uske chathi par roller chala deta .....
Byre Gowda Junior: The chicken has a MS from US, the chicken has a educated wife from another caste. So the chicken can easily cross the road.
A not so 'humble' NCP man: You see anything cant be said. It all depends on where the chciken was. If it was in Vidharba or Marathwada, it was going to Sharadji's rally. Anywhere else it was running away from the Sainiks. Im pretty sure the chicken wants to see Sharadji as the prime minister.
And so, as we speak, the chicken continues to cross many more roads, many a heads roll, many a rollers crush, many a thieves are let away by 'independent' investigative agencies and many a 'secular' hypocrites beg for votes. Unmindful of all these, a very small number of chickens - say around 400 million, more than three quarters being educated chickens turn the other way or tend to believe that their President is President Obama. Did someone say elections?? Unheard of in these parts of the world .....
