Michael Corleone: Only Don’t tell me you are innocent.[pause] It insults my intelligence.[pause] It makes me very angry.
Karthik Venkatesh: Only Don’t tell me to write a SOP.[pause] It insults my intelligence.[pause] It makes me very angry.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Last, Laster, Lastest..........
This is the LAST time I will ever forget to use RET at the end of a subroutine. After hearing to Mani’s sardonic neigh after seeing the program, that will always ring in my ears whenever I write a subroutine.
This is the LASTER time I will ever go around announcing on the public address system about the two lost ‘strippers’ of the five strippers that were with us when all I meant was this.
This is the LASTEST time, I will ever witness a truly democratic election in my life. Oh! It is worth describing democracy…….
2:45:14 PM Our 'beloved' HOD enters the Electronics Lab and says Excuse ME to a student seriously working on a system.
2:45:15 PM The student startled turns around [action not required for the completion of the scene]
2:45:17 PM Two swift hand motions from the choreography trained HOD. The first one to indicate all students to get off their seats and the second one to beckon them to come closer [action takes approx 380 msec]
2:45:18 PM Students begin to notice the big smile on the Don’s face and cant resist a laugh.[ Action censored by the censor board]
2:45:19 PM The Don begins his speech – “Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Keyboards and Monitors. Today, I want YOU ALL to elect two people to represent your class. Since our college is ISO certified, we have system of 50% reservation for the fairer sex. So I want YOU to elect one boy and one girl”
2:45:23 PM Turns towards a guy standing nearby and asks him “Will you become?” [Heaven knows what!] “OK then, who else”.
2:45:25 PM This ‘gem’ of a lecturer passing by jumps in “Ivaranna thogoLi saar…” “Yaaru?” “Ivare, Ivare”
2:45:28 PM “OK then thank you all of you”
2:45:30 PM A harsh squeaking of the Lab door is heard and Keyboards and Monitors return back to their work.
A 17 second Election. Hail Democracy!
PS: Not meant to hurt anyone. If hurt – what can I do???
PS: The title is an intended error and doesn’t denote my ignorance of Uncle Sam’s tongue.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Of Amateur Washermen and their zeal for work......
There's a Kannada saying which I would have to reproduce in its original form
" Hosadralli Agasa GoNi Eththi Eththi Ogedananthe"
Anyway, for those of you who didnt get it due to language barrier or due to my sheer inability to effectively convey kannada phonetics through the Queen's language, here's what it means - An amatuer dhobi washes gunny bags with the same ardour as he would wash some other expensive piece of clothing[implied].
Okay, enough of this literary tomfoolery. Let me get straight to the point. I had recently been to a 'function' [also. gathering def. a gathering of sufficiently large numbers of the male and female species of Homo sapiens with no fixed agenda except to gather as much information as possible about the rest of the species]. It too like any other of its kind contained the usual Q & A session - Well the last part is what interested me the most!
Hello, how are you?
Fine!
What are you doing now?
Me in final year BE, Ramaiah
Oh cool! finished with your placements??
Oh yes! Placed in LnT blah blah blah!
Good! What do they do?
They do this this and this and more of this at their this plant and less of this at their this unit.
Very good, very good. My friend's cousins nephew got into Microsoft. You dont want Microsoft??
Heck who doesnt want MS?? I am into talks with Mr.Gates. you'll read about my takeover shortly in the papers.
You are such an 'Adhikaprasangi'. Anyway my daughter too studies in Ramaiah. She is in Mechanical 1st sem.
Ah! good, whats her name?? [I'll ask her out for coffee sometime] Why isnt she around today?
Oh! poor girl. what can I say, she's busy with some assignments. She doent even have time to travel home-you see 20kms is a long distance. She stays in hostel. She stays in the 'DEPARTMENTAL LIBRARY' till 6 or 7.
Whaaaa!??? Departmental Library??? Never mind if there's cigarettes in the air [literally] from Gold Flakes to Wills [ pardon me if those are outdated brands, those are from the days when cig adverts were legal]. Anyway the numerous hangouts around the college are equally good.
After all this, I quitely slip away from the group to try my luck at the adjacent group and here again I am greeted by this "oh! 7th sem??? Finished with your placements??" for the 3223rd time this year. Tougher times ahead.
Then there is another breed of first years. The confident young lad with a Tee neatly tucked inside the jeans and a small folder with everything from LKG Marks Card to the CET admission order under his arms with his daddy dearest following him. One cannot miss the enthu in his eyes nor the inspection in his Dad's eyes. Enters the front foyer, looks around and Hey! theres a poster put up by SUN here, this college rocks! Never mind if the poster screams out.......Last Date for Submission 25th August 2004 or asking all NCC Cadets to assemble at some ungodly hour some 8 years back. The student and his dad will definitely read every detail that can be read through the dust covered glass pane and move on in search of other such boards.
The third variety, the poor student is filling up forms for the college- I will not indulge in ragging [As if ragging was the regular sport of first years], will follow all rules laid down by the management and more such crap- while the mother's hawkish eyes are peeping into other students forms. If any familiarity breeds within that short span,
How much did you get in PU??
I put up some 94% in PU.
Oh is it?? My son got 98%, what is your rank??
I got this stupid rank
My son, poor fellow, studied hard, but didnt do well in CET.
BahaLa Santosha, Should I distribute sweets for that???
And then the parent moves back to her son and tells everything about the conversation trying to infuse some seriousness into her son and life continues........
The poor guy or gal gets into Ramaiah [College], endures the hardships of engineering, matures enough to know all these things are not worth bothering about, laughs at evrything around mostly with a bit of mental insanity, writes blogs like this ridiculing others and yet life continues.......
" Hosadralli Agasa GoNi Eththi Eththi Ogedananthe"
Anyway, for those of you who didnt get it due to language barrier or due to my sheer inability to effectively convey kannada phonetics through the Queen's language, here's what it means - An amatuer dhobi washes gunny bags with the same ardour as he would wash some other expensive piece of clothing[implied].
Okay, enough of this literary tomfoolery. Let me get straight to the point. I had recently been to a 'function' [also. gathering def. a gathering of sufficiently large numbers of the male and female species of Homo sapiens with no fixed agenda except to gather as much information as possible about the rest of the species]. It too like any other of its kind contained the usual Q & A session - Well the last part is what interested me the most!
Hello, how are you?
Fine!
What are you doing now?
Me in final year BE, Ramaiah
Oh cool! finished with your placements??
Oh yes! Placed in LnT blah blah blah!
Good! What do they do?
They do this this and this and more of this at their this plant and less of this at their this unit.
Very good, very good. My friend's cousins nephew got into Microsoft. You dont want Microsoft??
Heck who doesnt want MS?? I am into talks with Mr.Gates. you'll read about my takeover shortly in the papers.
You are such an 'Adhikaprasangi'. Anyway my daughter too studies in Ramaiah. She is in Mechanical 1st sem.
Ah! good, whats her name?? [I'll ask her out for coffee sometime] Why isnt she around today?
Oh! poor girl. what can I say, she's busy with some assignments. She doent even have time to travel home-you see 20kms is a long distance. She stays in hostel. She stays in the 'DEPARTMENTAL LIBRARY' till 6 or 7.
Whaaaa!??? Departmental Library??? Never mind if there's cigarettes in the air [literally] from Gold Flakes to Wills [ pardon me if those are outdated brands, those are from the days when cig adverts were legal]. Anyway the numerous hangouts around the college are equally good.
After all this, I quitely slip away from the group to try my luck at the adjacent group and here again I am greeted by this "oh! 7th sem??? Finished with your placements??" for the 3223rd time this year. Tougher times ahead.
Then there is another breed of first years. The confident young lad with a Tee neatly tucked inside the jeans and a small folder with everything from LKG Marks Card to the CET admission order under his arms with his daddy dearest following him. One cannot miss the enthu in his eyes nor the inspection in his Dad's eyes. Enters the front foyer, looks around and Hey! theres a poster put up by SUN here, this college rocks! Never mind if the poster screams out.......Last Date for Submission 25th August 2004 or asking all NCC Cadets to assemble at some ungodly hour some 8 years back. The student and his dad will definitely read every detail that can be read through the dust covered glass pane and move on in search of other such boards.
The third variety, the poor student is filling up forms for the college- I will not indulge in ragging [As if ragging was the regular sport of first years], will follow all rules laid down by the management and more such crap- while the mother's hawkish eyes are peeping into other students forms. If any familiarity breeds within that short span,
How much did you get in PU??
I put up some 94% in PU.
Oh is it?? My son got 98%, what is your rank??
I got this stupid rank
My son, poor fellow, studied hard, but didnt do well in CET.
BahaLa Santosha, Should I distribute sweets for that???
And then the parent moves back to her son and tells everything about the conversation trying to infuse some seriousness into her son and life continues........
The poor guy or gal gets into Ramaiah [College], endures the hardships of engineering, matures enough to know all these things are not worth bothering about, laughs at evrything around mostly with a bit of mental insanity, writes blogs like this ridiculing others and yet life continues.......
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