A Fresh Debate in Kannada Circles

Reuters February 18,

A new debate has started among the Kannadiga community in US regarding the usage of certain words in Kanglish - the Kannada dialect of English. The debate which has engulfed the entire United States and parts of Canada in a short span is touted to be hotly debated in the coming days. The contention seemed to arise out of the usage of the word 'movieSgaLu'.

According to sources, the purists who are in favor of using 'moviegaLu' contest that the incorrect usage 'movieSgaLu' has within it an inherent grammatical flaw. Their argument that it contains a dual plurality is believed to have no takers among the advocates of the second variant. Hardcore users of 'movieSgaLu' confront that this usage is in sync with the usage back home like 'ThipparahaLLiya TharaleSgaLu' and 'Gendethimmana GirlfriendSgaLu'.

Although an AKKA spokesperson tried to distance the organization from both fragments, attributing the fight to the lack of knowledge of the dialect among the masses, the issue is expected to rock the Sammelana to be held later in the year.

PTI adds from Bruhat Bengalooru,

The Kannada ChaluvaLi Vatal Paksha known for its novel ways of protest is reported to have locked up a donkey and a buffalo within Navrang theatre with non stop screening of Kannada 'movieSgaLu'. He demanded unconditional implementation of the Sarojini Mahishi report and reiterated his commitment to Gadinadu Horata Samithi, although insiders were totally baffled by the relationship of the present crisis to his demands. At the time of going to the press, violent braying of the donkey and silence of the buffalo was heard.

Not to be outdone, the lone legislator from the erstwhile Kannada Nadu Party, Mr. Sankeshwar convened a press meet at the Press Club clarifying his stand on the issue. He said he and the entire VRL staff and commuters were for the usage of 'movieSgaLu'. This event was reportedly sabotaged by KRV activists, Narayana Gowda faction who demanded the reinstatement of 'moviegaLu' in Kanglish dictionary as the proportion of Kannada in it was higher. The senior Gowda taking note of this has written a 'letter' to almost everyone in his address book and has threatened to write another 'letter' to the AKKA president as soon as he gets his postal address. The contents of the letter were not publicised.

Meanwhile, The Kannada Development Authority Chairman 'Mukhyamantri' Chandru demanded a total ban on all uses of Kanglish in general and 'movieSgaLu' and 'moviegaLu' in particular be implemented within a week failing which all office bearers would resign from their posts. The shivers of the US debate and its ramifications in the state were felt in the film industry too. According to Gandhinagara grapevine, producer Venkatesh is considering renaming his production house as 'Kallbandegere ChalanachitragaLu'.

Unconfirmed reports from Mangalore indicate Mr. Muthalik's views on the issue. He is reported to have suggested that all women must be stopped from watching 'moviegaLu' or 'movieSgaLu' as these are against the ancient values of Indian society and any women 'caught'. watching one would be forcefully married to the movie star. The Baikampady police have taken him into preventive custody to ease the volatile situation.

Amidst all the fuss and volatility, the question still remains - 'moviegaLu' or 'movieSgaLu' ?

The Tasteless Coffee ...

He stared at infinity for the fifth time since morning, that had become his routine anyway. The infinity too seemed to beckon him. There seemed to be not much he could do with most parts of his anatomy aching from the previous night's fall than stare at the screen (luckily one doesn't fall on his eyes anytime). How long can a man stare at an uninteresting screen? Out popped a gtalk message with the all too annoying *ping* 'En maadthidyo??' Although tempted to say 'Enilla maga, Yeddi bandidda, byelectionalli win aadre Vidhana Soudhano Vikasa Soudhano decide maadthidvi', he just typed a cursory 'Nothin dude, jus like tat'.

He stepped out of the house hoping some fresh air would lift his spirits only to be greeted by the rickety ambassador being serviced by the pan chewing driver. He couldn't conclude whether the emission was from the car or the driver's ears. A few steps later, he tried calling her, she cut. He tried again, this time the cut was even more spontaneous. He felt like being slapped in the face. Cursing, he slipped the phone into his pocket. He was confused. Was he being cruel to the world or was the world playing games with him? Two lanes passed and he met an old friend, His only mistake was asking casually "How are you?" and she started her story which showed all signs of extending to a mega serial. He frantically began searching for the ";" button but then realized this wasn't the familiar MATLAB environment. She went on and on interspersing with what she assumed were humor. Sometimes he smiled, sometimes he said rofl with a dead pan expression.

Two blocks away there was some commotion. Seizing the opportunity, he sprinted towards it. He quietly went through the outer periphery of the crowd. War cries of "Eno maneli heLbandidya ilwa??", "Nadi stationge *&%*&R$%$%$" were heard. He smirked at them and moved on. The world seemed to be as normal as everyday. The girl at the corner house was strutting on the terrace as usual with her cell. He always wanted to talk to her but every time there came up some situation. Sometimes her father propped out of nowhere, at other times her boyfriend jumped out of the bush. He made a mental note to try his best tomorrow, to atleast speak to her for a couple of minutes. He couldn't afford to not talk to her, he badly needed to know her prepaid rate plan. His calculations always showed her monthly cell expenditure to be around 10k which he assumed was atrocious and thoroughly believed there was some great plan by some small time carrier that had eluded him.

Everything seemed so normal. The milkman's son was as usual chasing his cows on his Pulsar with those huge buckets dangling from the mirror. He had graduated from the squeaking Atlas cycle. The boys playing cricket, the vegetable vendor trying to hide the rotten stuff under the superficially good ones, the local grassroots Congress worker putting up a big poster to wish the local MLA on his birthday, the Panipuriwallah setting up his stall, the street dogs barking at the German Shepherd for invading their territory, the Uncles setting out for their evening walks followed closely by Aunty gangs with their over powdered faces and jet black hairs. - he noticed them all. The strays continued barking oblivious to everything else.

He headed to the Coffee Day. This had become their adda over the past two years. Pleasantries were exchanged and enquiries made over his crestfallen face. He then began to unwrap his woes sipping the frappe on how he had been assigned to rework on someone else's code, how he had to work with variable indexing as weird as main_struct.(itm).tr1.alpha_f0(z, main_struct.(itm).alpha_f1(z*2,1)). They tried consoling him. He was uncontrollable. They offered their support, tried to cheer him up and when nothing worked left but not before offering their condolences. When the last of them had left, he ordered another coffee. Somehow the coffee tasted bitter that day. Maybe it was psychological, maybe Coffee Day had run out of sugar. He stared at infinity and began sipping it.... His cell began vibrating, it was her. He cut the call immediately, without second thoughts .....

Gowda and Sons Insane Ltd.

Dyave Gowda banda ...
Kumarannan thanda ...
Dilliyalli bidda ...
Benglooralli edda .....

Pattabhisheka anthe.... damn...

Ism, Ism, Ism - Egoism, Journalism, 'Assertivism'

Well, well, 3 AM is not exactly the time to get urges. And most importantly its not everyday that you brush your teeth before bed and then get this very strong urge to blog. (No! I wasn't talking about the brushing part - on the contrary, that is fairly regular) But now the freak that I'm turning into, with every imaginable thing looking connected to the Gaussian distribution, this seems perfectly plausible. Yes, the Rockies look Gaussian! And during my long periods of academic inefficiency (read snoring in the class) I've had dreams of me modeling peoples' characteristic tendencies to be Gaussian. I feel the figure is self explanatory. And yeah! I seriously have developed a great admiration for Gauss, for he can withstand the assault of Fourier and still come out unscathed except for a few minor scratches.



Aah! I know I'm very much into the process of reducing my BRP (Blog Rating Point) which is a direct function of comments put in, given the strong correlation of this blog entry to a particular topic in the ensemble of the topics covered as part of my pursuit in obtaining a degree from an alien land. But then, my BRP was never too high, so I can take the liberty to do what I wish without giving a damn to it. Gone are the days my friends, when yours truly succumbed to the lures of favoritism. This is the age of revolutionary journalism. Never mind, that was my alter ego speaking.

So where am I headed?? Nowhere!! Everyone else is headed somewhere. I'm just where I am probably waiting for a race that hunts for a guy who hasn't moved an inch. Naked race in the middle of civilization, someone getting 'elected' for a change (No, no comments about that, I've fought enough and moreover I'm not worried about my BRP. Heck! my blog doesn't even have a Page Rank), greats retreating and retiring, cases of pot calling the kettle black (or more aptly the keeper's gloves calling the bat black), and yes you guessed it right..... The Chinese.... invading the US of A. After all these you expect me to have pleasant views on this spherical congregate of soil and liquid water revolving on a particularly hot mass of fusion process gone awry and cleverly named 'The' Sun. No, no, noooo, I cant do much about others, but I wont let the invasion happen until there hath a brain in my head and of course a scalpel in my hand. (Alter ego again!)

On a positive note, a certain Mr. I'm Great whom I thoroughly hate for bringing misery upon another country is stepping down, a wonderful language has got its due after a long time, The Big Bang Theory is perhaps the best comedy series since the Blackadder series ended - dont even bother mentioning about a few 'friends' jumping around (Im already having strong influences of Sheldon..... meeeeeeeeeooooooooooooom.. I'm the Doppler Effect... haha), Chetan Bhagat is writing as good as ever (I somehow fall in love with his heroines every time - there's something about their description - from the cute nose to the pinkiness of their rooms to the rebellious behavior), they still use 'Liquid Oil' to fry veg burgers (for those whoo don't know, ASK) and there, I've got some reasons to cheer about.

Summarizing, the author strongly feels you've got some excess time on your hands to have read thus far and it wouldn't be a pain to drop in a few comments with the sole goal of increasing my BRP. (Shameless! That was the Alter Ego with the scalpel again!)

And now off to some peaceful sleep with Gaussian dreams .....

Life - Here and There - And nothing in between

Well I haven't been serious enough, in my blog, in my life and probably all the probabilities occurring in my life are the probabilistic results of highly improbable events leading to the remote probability of my life being wrecked, probably beyond repair. Not again. Every time I sit down to blog, I try not to sound funny or act sarcastic (ample proof of which is present in the opening paragraph of most of my earlier blogs) but somehow midway I get back to my old sarcastic self. Nevertheless, I keep trying and trying .....and trying.

So, seriously and I mean seriously lets talk about Potato Chips. Why?? Because that's the only serious subject I could find in front of me. A pack of potato chips essentially contains potato chips which essentially are slices of potato that are 'supposed' to be freshest with no preservatives with a terrific taste that will tantalize my taste buds (those surviving after the assault of Subway veggies). Philosophers contend that the potato chips is a perfect metaphor to the problems in life that look humongous when in a pack but dissolve into thin air when chewed on. But seriously speaking again what they fail to notice is the 11g of fat (2g of saturated fat) that is transferred along with the crispy wafers which is akin to the .... the... penalty the system has to pay for chewing on the problem. Crap! What am I talking. Whoever said potato chips were metaphorical of problems. All crap. I cant do this anymore.

In that case, I guess I'll go back to my latest muse of comparing things here and back in India -things I miss a lot. And I guess I'd do it with a lot of favoritism towards India than those NRIs (the non returning types). I miss having my morning cuppa over the old faithful friend Deccan Herald. Waiting for the newspaper boy whose arrival times cannot fit into any known probability distribution was sweeter in direct proportion to the magnitude of the news expected. Literally fighting with the family to be able to grab the paper first is an experience best experienced first hand. Although newspapers in America are supposed to be good, the free ones contain absolute rubbish like 'taxi driver rips off passenger's coat for refusal to pay tips' or 'prankster arrested for making 911 calls repeatedly' which are of no use to mankind. In contrast, looking out for the scheduled power cut and hunting down for our locality in the midst of hundred other localities is more cherishing. The joy of finally finding our locality and then the realization of absolutely no TV or computer for the next 7 hours was simply great (either in the positive or negative sense).

I miss those delicious dosas I had 5 times a week and literally fought with my mom for it, so much so that she dreaded hearing the very word 'dosa'. Settling on the couch with those and dutifully reading the middle and the LTTE (Letters to the editor) was as much a routine as brushing my teeth. Agreed, I can always read DH online here too. But anyone who has read a newspaper with the least bit of enjoyment would agree that the epaper is in no way a substitute to the 'real thing'. I yearn for the Bangalore traffic with their great lane nonsense ( I believe the antonym for lane sense), the unpredictable auto drivers (I've heard that the late Dr. HN wrote a humorous piece on them titled 'Auto Bhayagraphy' - please forward it to me if anyone finds it), the chaos with the seasonal rains, the splendid taste of Bhel puri when one's pants are half drenched, the confrontations with the street dogs with 'attitude', the BMTC buses that could compete for the densest population per square meter, the joy when petrol prices decrease, the despair when they increase, the luxury of having incoming calls free and of course the exemplary art of 'giving' missed calls are just a few of the simple joys in life one misses when away home.

But on the brighter side, you have to miss them for a few years to realize what you really enjoy and that makes one appreciate their value a lot more. In conclusion, at the risk of sounding nostalgic, I guess I have written a fairly 'serious' blog on a fairly serious subject for a fairly serious audience. If a more serious approach is warranted, I shall be obliged to do so in the near future.

Yours Seriously,

Varthik K

Life 101

There are only two ways in life, the one you are treading, and the other you regret not treading. And life goes on .....

Innerwear over Dhoti.... Up up and away.....

Having a Gult converted to Kannadiga converted to Tamilian (okk! to be fair enough to all states .. soon to be Keralite) as a roommate has its fair share of advantages apart from the fact that he can curse you in n! different languages and you can still stand grinning there not understanding a single word.

Right now we three roommates stay in three different rooms and coincidentally I happen to be at the end of the laughter propagation chain. The moment I hear a hysterical laughter piercing the silence two rooms away, I buckle up for the things to come, flex my facial muscles and get ready. Around 30 seconds later, a stifled conscious laugh a room away, and then I know its my turn.

For a kid who grew up on generous doses of Dr. Vishnuvardhan and Dr. Raj who rarely tested the sensibilities of the kannada audience save for an occasional jump from a 50 feet building or swimming across the Cauvery during a heavy flood, my generous roomie introduced me to the wondeful world of Telugu and Tamil superheroes. I always thought those stories about Captain and Rajanikanth were fake and pseudo stuff created by overzealous and jealous teenagers. But now, I take pleasure in introducing them to all you innocent people whose brains have never been tested to such extremes.

For starters, Balayya with his superhuman powers.



All you kids attempting wheely on your 180cc bike. Grow up. Rise to the occasion (with your tractor)!!



Get your horse to fall on its back, generate great momentum pulling the reins and you are all set to slide with it. Slide, slide and away.......



Ever heard of the LBR? The Large Bullet Reflector. Breakthrough....truly!



For the benefit of those that are still on their chairs or aren't on their way to the hospital, you can dare see this and this.

And for those of you who repeatedly asked for the past few months and those who didnt ask too, n! is a strange number and I love it. For those who think small, say 10, then 10! would be a big number (for their understanding) and for those that think big, say 10000, then 10000! is anyway a huge number. So I prefer n! to n in most of my conversation.

How boring can this get?? Aaargh....... shut up! [Gunshot] Enna pairu Gardheek Vengadesh, My brain is wrapped up in SBR ... hahahaha.....Jai Chennakesava, Jai Chennakesava....